*Warning* this post contains offensive opinions and bad language……………
Is anyone else struggling to bite back the sarcasm? Just me? Ah, that’s okay, I can take it, it is only my opinion after all and I know full well we all think differently, which is a very good thing.
In the UK we have now started the first week of a second 3-week “lockdown”. I deliberately put that word in quotation marks as it is not a complete lockdown as I understand some other countries have. I am one of the 1.6 million (is that the correct number?) of shielded people, the 12-week lockdown bunch. I am stuck at home for the duration, completely reliant on the help of others.
Listening to and reading other people’s opinions of the current “lockdown” situation and their feelings about being in that situation just brings to mind the plethora of platitudes (good phrase, huh!!) that were slung my way during the course of my cancer treatment and I’m sorry to say it but it really grinds my gears. So much I’d love to say in response.
Three weeks lockdown? I don’t know how you do it, you’re so brave……
You’re anxious, stressed, depressed, struggling? But you’re strong, you can do this……….
Fucking suck it up pal, it’s only three bloody weeks. Three weeks during which time you can go out to walk, cycle or exercise. You can go out to buy essential shopping. Sod off with your whinging, some people have a 12-week lockdown. Twelve weeks where they are not allowed out at all, unless they have the luxury of a back garden – but of course beware the coughing neighbour. Twelve weeks where they cannot go to a shop at all. And more importantly, there are those for whom this complete lockdown and fear of infection has been a way of life a very long time before COVID-19 hit, who have physical and mobility issues that make them completely reliant on someone else helping them. And, don’t even get me started on all the able-bodied people who continue to block out slots on supermarket online shopping, in so doing, preventing new, vulnerable customers even registering to do an online order.
And before you attack my opinions, I don’t voice these to anyone. I listen sympathetically, try to say the right thing and don’t even mention my situation, or the situation of others I know who are much worse off than I am. I’m not a total bitch. I fully understand we all react differently to situations and I have complete compassion for anyone who is struggling. But we seem to have lost a sense of perspective. Someone asks me how I’m doing and I answer vaguely, all the while thinking that I simply cannot complain when there are so many people worse off than I am.
I desperately miss my walks. I can exercise at home but it’s not the same. My walks were my mental therapy, they helped my process my mother’s death, my own diagnosis and treatment. I had a scan just before my shielding, I phoned my oncology nurse to see if she had the results only to be told that “it hasn’t grown since the previous scan”. Whilst that is good news, it was news to me that it had shown up on the previous scan. It was not the time to have that discussion since I have an appointment coming up with my consultant, and my over-riding feeling was as long as I don’t have to be readmitted to hospital at this time I can deal with it.
We are going through difficult times. We all are. They might be different, but they are difficult. We all try to cope and we all have different ways of coping.
I just have to stop, step back and breathe. This too will pass.